FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY IS LEARNED
BY CATHY ALBRO
Does your child have the "gimmies"? Although frustrating to parents and grandparents, it is very common. Children learn at a very young age about instant gratification and impulsive buying by watching adults. When they ask (beg) for something and get it, they learn that you can have anything you want, whenever you want. No wonder the "gimmie" epidemic abounds.
If you want this behavior to change and for your child to grow up being fiscally responsible, we must watch what we model. We buy for our children because we can, but that isn't always what's best. Children need to see adults plan and budget for purchases, and it may mean waiting for a while, too.
My sister was having trouble with her son always wanting something every time they went into a store. Since he was four years old and knew about simple numbers, she began the practice of giving him a dollar a week to put into his new wallet. When they went into a store and he wanted something, they'd check his wallet to see how much money he had. If he didn't have enough money to buy what he wanted, they discussed how much more time it would take him to get enough money or other alternatives if he wanted to buy something at that time. They also began to keep a list with prices so that he could learn to prioritize (or maybe pass on an idea for a birthday or Christmas). It was difficult for him at first to be denied his wishes, but he soon learned that he was responsible for his destiny, and began to understand. He no longer threw a fit when he couldn't get what he wanted, and began to take this new responsibility seriously (including taking better care of his new purchases). As he got older, he tried to figure out ways to earn extra money. When he turned six, my sister gave him two dollars a week, as he was able to understand higher numbers.
I have used a strategy with my daughters that has also helped them to understand how to budget their money. When one of my daughters was 13, she began to ask for fifty-dollar shorts and eighty-dollar sweaters. Since I was buying, she didn't care how much they cost. I decided it was time for her to learn how to make good buying decisions. Every spring and fall I gave her a clothing allowance that had to last for a half year. When that money was gone, she had to live with what she had already bought or earn money to buy it for herself. This saved many arguments about whether I would buy her something or not and helped her to make some important consumer decisions (will that $50 pair of shorts stay in style for five years, will that $80 sweater match more than one outfit).
One important aspect of helping your child through this consumer process is to give them the freedom to make choices. As the supportive adult, you can point out various pros and cons (or help them come up with their own), but the choice should be theirs as long as it fits within the parameters you have set (i.e.: no violent toys, no see-through blouses, etc.). Sometimes the best learning comes when the wrong decision has been made. At that point you can reflect with your child about what they have learned and how they may do it differently the next time.
Let us know if you have some ideas that have worked and we'll share them in future newsletters and on our website.
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